son mis calles

gosh...can you believe they were right? You can't truely love someone else until you love yourself. Learning so much about myself here. Falling more in love with the genuine person I am. Being alone a million miles away from everything that has created the person you are---strips you naked and leaves you raw. There's freedom in that. The ability to build a life from a new foundation. To be alone with yourself--thoughts untainted--desires untouched--and the lack of pressure from cultural and familiar influences. Just YOU. and you can't escape you. you can only embrace yourself and depend on yourself--trust yourself to take care of you, to keep you out of harms way, to learn from past mistakes, and to be courageous enough to keep walking towards the unknown.
i'm not ready to leave here yet. i love how i feel here. i feel free...i feel strong...i feel bold. i feel loved by those who are near me. my job is so fulfilling and seeing my students' faces each day has become my sanity. to jog along the ocean shore and laugh with friends until the sun comes up has been the greatest remedy for my soul. to live a life of spontaneuity feeds my constant need to fly.
i realize that its not a person's circumstance that makes them happy but rather their attitude. one much choose to be happy. And when I boarded that plane to Calama..I choose my OWN happiness and allowed myself just this once to be selfish. I wrote...
"Do something for yourself Kendalll. Start a career. make money. depend on yourself. Be confident. Be interesting. Trust yourself. Know that you are adequate..you are worthy and you have great purpose. Strengthen yourself. build your resume. love what you do. meet new people. see new things. never be bitter. and never become jaded. But chase after all that is good. Enjoy the moment. Appreciate the past. And be hopeful for the future. You are blessed. You are loved. You are equipped. ¡Go!"

...and so what once was just a dreamworld now becomes my reality. I arrived here with the earth shaking beneath me (literally) and I leave here having tamed life`s after shocks. I am a confident and strong woman..seeking after all that the universe has to offer. Chile, I will leave your slender borders for a brief stay in the mother land but I return to you wild at heart, ready for all 2011 has for me. I look forward to a new home, a new job, a life in which I have been given to do great things with..and I promise to repay you for all that you have given me.